Milestones Celebration of the First Year

I see you.

You are not alone.

There are days when you are in the thick of it with motherhood and you remember back when… anyone else feel guilty for thinking about person you were before kids and missing her? Mama, it is okay. You are human and that means you are allowed to both love your children while missing parts of your life before. This does not make you a bad mom. That mom guilt struggle though.

I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, and a stay at home mom at that. But growing up, I was taught to dream big; do well in school and to achieve. I guess these traits were a combination of my personality and my own desires, but also the values my mother instilled in me. So all through my early life, I’ve achieved. I worked hard in school, in my professional career and ultimately worked hard to get accepted into Rochester Institute of Technology for Master in Chemistry but as the days approached to go, I found out I was pregnant.

Surprise!

This was not part of my plan, I thought. My entire life I had worked up to this moment and I felt totally unprepared and unready to be a mom. But soon enough I realized that this is exactly what I’d wanted and what I’d always thought I’d be. Motherhood is one of the hardest job in the world and yet the most rewarding. To say that leaving my career “success” behind has been easy would be a lie. But it occurs to me that the greatest success may not be what you do, but who you raise.

Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living.

Let me show you the milestones I’ve celebrated in this first year of my child’s life.

Our son Ramsey was born 7lbs 10oz on March 12th at 10:56PM. When he was born, we had no words to express how in love we are and I cried because he is my heaven on Earth. No one else will ever know the strength of my love for him because after all, he is the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside. He was tiny but mighty! He was more than we ever expected and better than we ever imagined.

We love that boy oh so much! We only want him to keep shining because the world needs his light. He is one of the greatest joy of my life because if this is not happiness, I do not know what is.

I take pictures that bring me joy and remind myself to always find the beauty in ugliness. I also take pictures to remind myself to celebrate the important milestones. We have to choose joy because life will never be perfect. Kids break their arms during quarantine, people get sick, election chaos, and we all know, really bad things happen but I promise you, you CAN choose joy in everyday. I am grateful every single day for this sweet face. He is my favorite “WHY”. Why I make better choices, why I care so much about my family and my health, why I want to share my knowledge in this life with all of you, and why I keep learning and doing. I cannot control out there but I can control within my home and so can you.

Time flies when you have a child. It is like when you blink your eyes and suddenly they are grown. I know the days are long but the years are SO short. When all of us were little, we all grew up wishing we were older and older but we never thought about wishing we could stop time until you become a parent. Time is precious and it is something you can never take it back. I know we all are so busy with life but do not forget to pause and embrace the moment truly and deeply for it will pass quickly.

Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life. Choose joy in the chaos. It does not mean to ignore it or do not deal with grief, trauma or the pain. It means give yourself permission to unplug and regroup, without feeling guilty. You cannot be there for others if you do not take care of yourself first. If you are unhappy, do something about it. Do not be afraid for change or to ask for help. It takes courage to open ourselves to joy and it is up to YOU how you are going to respond to life.

Did you know that babies can communicate with you much easier and earlier with their gestures than verbal? It takes out the frustration of trying to figure out what the baby need/want because they do not have the ability to speak until much later. Ramsey’s first word was signing the word “FOOD” when he was only four months old. It was a major proud mom moment for me. I have been teaching him sign language from the moment he was born on basic language and then increase vocabulary as times go by. Baby talk does not exist with him. I communicate with him like I would with an adult. Babies learning sign language will not delay speech development AT ALL.

Is he not one of the cutest thing you ever seen?!? His smile is contagious.

How did 6 months already flew by so fast?!?

He was already growing 2 bottom teeth, eating solid food, sitting up alone, and lifting himself up. What I love the most about him is when he smiles all the time every single day. He is perfect in every way and God knew what He was doing when He made him just the way he is for me. He is my joy, my precious and my heart.

This adorable boy of mine entered his very first cracklin festival pageant and got 1st runner up medal. He also entered Baby Mister for the Christmas Festival Pageant and won first place! One of the biggest milestones ever. Then he went on an airplane for the first time to go New York City and it was a smooth trip!

“You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they will be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today, it will be over before you know it.”

T’was the season to celebrate Mardi Gras in Louisiana and Ramsey was a baby in my king cake.

Happy Valentine’s Day from this little love! I just cannot with his face! I have not put much weight on Valentine’s Day in the past, but now that Ramsey is in the picture I want to bring back all the silly traditions. Remember making mailboxes in school to receive valentines from your classmates?! That was the best! What is your valentine’s tradition?

A first birthday is always something you will forever remember! There is something about wrapping up the first year because you no longer celebrate the milestones monthly, but yearly now. I was not kidding when I say that time truly flies.

There was the only decent alone picture I could find that he had on his suit outfit because he did not stay long with it. You know kids, they get dirty fast, lol.

What a year it is been!

That year had the best and scariest milestones. Welcoming Ramsey into our lives has brought an abundance of joy into our lives. It is hard to remember what life was like before him, because he fits in so perfectly (and also I probably cannot remember because this kid loves 24/7 snuggles on me). That year was full of challenges for me including having a scare three times. I almost had a C section due to his heartbeat, but by the grace of God, he was born naturally. Although the birth went smooth and great, the recovery was hard. I am still unpacking the emotional and mental trauma from it.

But, this moment also made me stronger. My body has given me the greatest gift. My body is healthy and gets me where I need to go. If I take anything from that year, it is that I can get through the challenges life throws at me and to give myself grace in the moments that are out of my control.

Motherhood is not for the faint of heart and it takes great courage to make decisions on someone else’s life, to pour your heart and life into someone with little to no praise.

But let me remind you it is worth it. Your child is your greatest project to DIY with. It might seem small but celebrate the milestones in the first year proudly because if you miss it, it is done. You can’t get it back because there are lot of things in life that you don’t get to do it more than once and this is one of them.